So my good friend shell toes -http://www.thickskinfashionforward.blogspot.com/ has taken an interest in my wine project. She writes-
When I was surfing all my morning blogs I noticed your post about drinking only wine. I will admit I have had many a fantasy of chugging bottles of wine while creating masterpieces of art. Just watch Modigliani. But that will have to wait until Helmi's out of the nest I suppose. As a wine pro at this point in my life, let me give you a little advice and testimony.
First of all, wine hangovers are a BITCH. The headache is way worse. Second of all, you will never get as silly on beer as you will on red wine. Beer can make you loud and obnoxious. Wine is the smart person's beer. It still assists you in making a fool of yourself, but in slurred slow motion. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy. And therefore reality and everyone in it is warm and fuzzy. Why do you think so many housemoms drink it all day? Wine is like cocaine as a downer.
As far as sexual side effects, I guess you could say those are good. For women, it makes you want to have sex, which can be hard to want to do sometimes, especially when the sex is boring or the guy is a jerk and leaves his laundry everywhere.
Here are a few tips:
Red wine is the only good wine. Drink white or zinfandel and you might as well be rollerblading in the front of the gay pride parade waving a rainbow banner like the sword in Braveheart.
Simultaneously drink the red wine in one glass, and WATER in the other. You will still get drunk but you are preventing your head feeling like that hard shrivled brown thing in the middle of an apricot in the morning.
Wine stains- a lot. Don't spill. And if you care about personal hygiene brush your teeth before passing out or you'll wake up looking like a vampire.
Personally, I prefer wine when I'm trying to savor the night, beer when I'm trying to forget. And liquor, well that's just an asshole move at this point. Happy drinking!
3 comments:
I have to say that the wine and water combo is a great idea. My advice? Never mix wine with beer or liquor. It's a blackout waiting to happen. And they are never as cool as they seemed on The Hangover nor do they have happy endings (in any context of the saying). Also, 2 glasses of wine makes for the perfect buzz at a party. More than that and you become someone who knows everything about anything and you are ready to express your opinions to the world. No one likes a Chatty Chester.
So, I always thought that I'd take time to "learn wine" in my 40's, but my recent endeavers as a bartender at an upscale beer and wine joint have pushed that forward. Thing 1: there is MUCH difference in a twelve dollar bottle and a twelve dollar jug; but, until you've quit smoking and become a master discriminator of boxes and jugs of wine, you're wasting your time and money. My freshman year of college my room-mate and I could drink a box of wine in a night--I preferred Franzia Burgundy, then merlot, then cabernet sauvignon...The point is starting at the bottom will only enhance your ability to appreciate the subtlties and distinctions of better wines, not that I'm an expert by any means, but I do now know that I don't like merlots or syrahs, but I do like cabernets and malbecs. Thing 2: As a boozer in general, I've noticed that the quality of booze I choose reflects deeper social, psychological, and emotional aspects of myself. This is something I'm sure you've thought of. But I do think that with wine specifically, the quality you are drinking can allow you to drink as an act of meditation, relaxation, and self-preservation as opposed to an act of denial, agitation, and self-destruction--I just don't think that option exists in the realm of beer.
Well, happy wine drinking.
Excellent points Shel. The water thing works no matter what you're drinking. The wine hangover is rough, seriously rough. I've found that white wine hangovers are way worse, but according to Shelley you shouldn't be drinking that anyway.
Some cheap wines that are way better than some of the California expensive wines: Argentinian Malbec and Spanish Riojas. Excellent wine for a low price.
Also, cheap wine is weaker, so if your goal is to get gray teeth and drink all night, go for the box. But if your goal is to catch a good buzz or get wasted, go for the slightly good stuff. It gets the job done much better.
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